"六出祁山,寸土未得"的真相...

三国志

xiaobai: "fri play soccer?"
xiong: "ermmm... got who? those people i know anot?"
xiaobai: "yah... Generally!"
xiong: "wah! 李将军 got play ar???"

Tsunami

ahxings and xiaobai watching sunset......
ahxings: "xiaobai..."
xiaobai: "what?" (deep voice)
ahxings: "everyday so many people die, why u haven die ar?"
xiaobai: "cos i am a good person, good people live longer!" (deep voice)
ahxings: "i think its not so u know..."
xiaobai: "then wat!?" (deep voice)
ahxings: "the Tsunami killed too many people, so now the hell is full, no space left for u... Once there is a vacancy, you will go down......"

xiaobai walks away......

Noted

Note 3

你的整体表现还算OK...
看得出你有放心思去与你的读者交流...
不过你有点紧张.. 写得不够放...
感染度不足.. 完全感动不到我...
看看你写的方式就知道你写的时候没有投入...
感觉不到你有去enjoy你写的故事...
你的文法及表达各方面都非常僵硬...
英华文转换得不够自然...
没有我想看到的那个groove在...
读你的blog就好像在读小学生写的作文...

是谁在敲打我窗。。。。

3rd World
After watching the news about all the children who are suffering in those 3rd World countries everyday, ahxings finally decided to go and visit these countries to see how he can help these poor children.
When ahxings arrived at the 3rd World country, all he could see were people starving, old people dying of illnesses, hungry children searching around for food... ahxings heart melted upon seeing these scenes. Suddenly ahxings felt a tug on his jeans. He looked down and saw a thin little boy looking up at him, helplessly... hopelessly......
Ahxings reached for his pocket and took out a piece of sweet and gave it to the boy. The boy held on to the sweet tightly with both hands, tears in his eyes, wide smile on his face and ran away very happily.
Suddenly more and more children appeared and crowded around ahxings asking for sweets. Ahxings gladly took out all the sweets from his pockets and gave them one by one. Nothing is more fulfilling than seeing those smiles on the childrens' faces. However ahxings soon ran out of sweets to give out to the children, there are still many who had not gotten any sweets... Not wanting to disappoint the rest, ahxings stood there and think of what he could do to satisfy everyone of them... Suddenly ahxings got an idea!

Ahxings unzipped his jeans and pee at all the children...

Ahxings had diabetes......

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10 Years of Friendship

ahxings and xiaobai were friends since very young, however their friendship came to an end after an incident which happened many many years ago...

ahxings and xiaobai were classmates in their secondary school, they sat side by side in class, share everything with each other, and talked about everything. One day after recess when ahxings returned back to his seat, he discovered that his favourite pencil was missing! That pencil was ahxings most treasured item, as it was given to him by his ah ma before she died. Ahxings looked everywhere for his pencil, his pencil box, his bag and around his seat, however the pencil is nowhere to be seen. Ahxings felt terribly sad in his heart and the sight of his dead ah ma was floating in his mind. Ahxings felt remorseful and had let his ah ma down... Suddenly ahxings realised that xiaobai who was sitting beside him was acting rather strangely, he seemed abit uneasy. But ahxings do not want to think that it was xiaobai who stole his pencil as they were great buddies. Xiaobai suddenly stood up and said he want to go to the toilet. When xiaobai stood up, suddenly something dropped out from his shorts... it was ahxings pencil...

ahxings picked up the pencil gently, took a deep breathe, held on to his tears and turned to xiaobai...

ahxings: "why? why you want to do that? i tot we were friends? 10 years of friendship in exchange for a pencil... FINE! WORTH IT!"

To ahxings astonishment, xiaobai was not at all guilty nor rependent, instead he looked back at ahxings cockily and said...

xiaobai: "whats the big deal? its only a fucking pencil what!!!"

After saying that xiaobai turned around and continued walking to the toilet... ahxings looked at xiaobai's diminishing backview, scenes of the past happy days with xiaobai flashed past ahxings mind, he looked at his pencil and looked at xiaobai again... ahxings cant hold it any longer... ahxings stood up and shouted...

ahxings: "XIAOBAI!!! wait..."

Ahxings ran over to xiaobai, hold his hands and looked at him in his eyes.

ahxings: "xiaobai...... you still haven return me the rubber head you plucked out from my pencil..."

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Way Home

ahxings used to be a fish farmer. One day on his way home, while he was walking through the forest, he happened to see a brown little earth worm being chased by a dog. Ahxings picked up a twig on the floor and shouted "shoo! shoooo!" The dog got chased away by ahxings. Ahxings went forward to see how is the earth worm.

earth worm: "wah lucky u came, u saved my life siah! eh ah bang, terima kasih ar!"

Upon hearing, ahxings used the twig in his hand, poked into the earth worm's body and cutted it into 2 pieces. The earth worm gave out a loud cry and died. Ahxings continued his way home.

While walking, suddenly ahxings came upon a piece of stone on the ground. Ahxings squad down and took a look. He saw a black little ant being pressed under the huge stone and crying out for help. Ahxings immediately lift up the stone and saved the ant. The black ant looked up at ahxings with great gratitude...

ant: "i really dunno how to repay you ar deh~ nandri ar deh~~"

Upon hearing, ahxings spitted on the ant and smashed the stone in his hand at the ant a few times... The ant was totally crushed and was not breathing anymore.

Ahxings continued his way home...

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Liars

It was a find and sunny day, ahxings decided to call his good friends to go down for a good game of football. They arrived at the void deck at started playing. 3-on-3 they were playing very happily and soon it was afternoon. They decided to take a break and ahxings went to buy drinks at the nearby mama shop.

Upon returning, ahxings saw that oni xiaobai and rusty were there.

ahxings: "Eh? ah lim leh?"

rusty: "His sister came and fetch him home liao..."

ahxings: "Then ah heng leh?"

rusty: "He said he must go to his cousin house for dinner..."

ahxings: "Erm... then that ah toh leh?"

rusty: "He said he must go and fetch his mama home..."

ahxings: "Then left 3 person, still want to play anot?"

xiaobai: "Go home lah (deep voice)..."

ahxings bidded xiaobai and rusty farewell and walked home. While walking home, ahxings went to use the kopitiam toilet, suddnely he say ah heng with a girl eating there...

ahxings: 'Ehhh... i tot ah heng only got one male cousin......'

ahxings continued walking home, when he walked past the carpark, he saw ah lim's car drove past. Inside sitted ah lim and another girl...

ahxings: 'Ermmm... how come ah lim sister looked so different from last time......'

ahxings continued his way home. While waiting for the lift at his block, suddenly ahxings saw ah toh's mother...

ahxings: "Hellooo auntie..."

mother: "Hi! Did u see ah toh today? Whole day never see him..."

ahxings went quiet... the lift arrived......

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The Phone

Ahxings was playing football at basketball court with his friends happily. Suddenly came a group of malay guys...

Malay guy: "Eh next team leh!!!"

Ahxings: "Erm dun want lah, we are leaving soon..."

Malay guy: "Why? U scared ar? Challenge leh!!!"

Ahxings: "Erm ok loh..."

They came in and played against ahxings friends. They played very roughly with ahxings and friends. In a challenge for the ball, a malay guy deliberately tripped ahxings. Ahxings got injured. Ahxings: "Nevermind, it's ok... I go out and rest first, u all play on..."Ahxings limped out of the court alone. He take a rest at the shade where everyone placed their belongings. After 15min of rest, ahxings decided to leave and not continue playing anymore. He stood up, bid everyone farewell and went home...

While walking to the busstop... 'ring, ring', handphone rang. Ahxings reached for his bag, picked up the phone and listened...

Handphone: "Hello, Ali please..."

Ahxings hanged up the phone and continue his way home......

(smile on his face, satisfaction in his heart)

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Nurse

nurse 帮 patient 量血压。。。


nurse: 你喝太多酒了，肝会有问题。。。小心肝。。。

patient: 嘿嘿~~小宝贝~~~

nurse: 。。。。。。

note: the insertion of this big picture is purely juz to boost the 收视 of this site

Day 10 working at DORMA

Afternoon, a normal working day for ahxings and kiv at DORMA....

laojiao worker: (Malaysian slang) boy ah 来！帮我拿两百五十粒黑色的那个螺丝来，谢谢...
ahxings & kiv: OK!
ahxings: 我们用weighing machine 来算比较快...
kiv: OK!

ahxings went to take screws, kiv proceeded to the weighing machine first...kiv placed a plastic bag on the weighing machine and waited for ahxings. ahxings arrived. kiv took a few screws and put on top of the plastic bag to weigh...

ahxings: 等一下！你还没有TARE嘞!!!
kiv: OK!

kiv removed the plastic bag on the weighing machine....
when ahxings turned his head and looked at kiv, he saw kiv trying very hard to TEAR apart the plastic bag with his both hands....

ahxings went quiet....

(a stroke of cold wind blew past them....)









Fig 1a. Weighing Machine

Step by step guide - Brian pissed in lecture

1. Brian sits down
2. Lecturer starts teaching... "in the modern world, the status of woman is ..... thus..... therefore.... and then.... thats why.... and... and.. and......."
3. Brian look down at notes
4. Brian still looking at notes
5. Brian flip the pages
6. Brian flip more pages
7. Brian stares at notes.... suddenly....
8.








9. Brian shouted: "FuuUUUCK!!!" (deep voice)
10. "UUuuummmMM" Brian burped

(Lesson resumes....)

Note 2

很多东西都是
很~难~讲~~的....

义气 reloaded

(rusty u-turned and blocked xiaobai's way)

rusty: 传说中.. 南大九曲十八弯车神.. 王小白...

rusty: 据说.. 他可能是新加坡唯一的.. 世界冠军...

rusty: 可惜.. 他现在选择回家...

rusty: 有时.. 一个决定.. 可以改变一生...

rusty: 做人如是.. cycle如是...

xiaobai: diam la!

rusty: 对了.. 发火.. 车手就是要有火气...

xiaobai:(deep voice) bye...

rusty: 我真的很希望可以跟你跑一圈.. 就一圈...

(xiaobai cycled off)

义气

23July2005, 2344hr



ahxings, xiaobai, rusty went cycling...

ahxings: tonite we will cycle whole nite! to conquer NTU's 五连发夹弯!!!
rusty: sweeeee~~~
xiaobai: (deep voice) dowan, i 2am wana reach home...

ahxings and rusty went quiet, 3 persons cycled on...

ahxings, xiaobai, rusty cycled to a one way road... straight, long, and misty... they stopped, ahxings turned to xiaobai and said...

ahxings: xiaobai...
xiaobai: (deep voice) wat?
ahxings: you know who i am?
xiaobai: (deep voice) ahxings lah...
ahxings: (deeper voice) what if i am not ahxings now?
xiaobai: . . . . . .

xiaobai turned his bicycle and cycled home alone......

Note 1

我讲的话是我个人意见。。。你可以不接受！

Blog owner's most earnest wish

I sincerely hope that you will better cherish your life after reading this blog....